So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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