all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
