Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
