the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just want to make out with him forever
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
