I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
