I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
