I wannas sexs uuuuu
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
