I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
