i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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