I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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