If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
