And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
