I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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