my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I love you.
Bad choice
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
