girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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