I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
