You made me cry and you don't even care
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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