I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
