Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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