I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ugly people sure do ruin things
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
