We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
