I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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