it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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