I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
