You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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