i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
