I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
