i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
