I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize