Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
