the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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