i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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