I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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