She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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