I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We have started to decorate penises.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize