I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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