watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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