yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
