Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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