Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
