Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
