your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
