And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
