Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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