Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
