wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?