Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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(310): View more from California

something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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(601): View more from Mississippi

having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

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(469): View more from Texas

Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(318): View more from Louisiana

I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

(919): View more from North Carolina

It's a mixed blessing.

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(512): View more from Texas

Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix

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