Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (2050) Bad night (1006)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

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  (404): So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night. http://tfl.nu/skws
  Replies (14) Good night (4919) Bad night (693)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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  (732): I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower http://tfl.nu/n59j
  Replies (43) Good night (1418) Bad night (20000)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas

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  (830): Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas http://tfl.nu/3mgi
  Replies (9) Good night (1053) Bad night (2997)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.

  (516): View more from New York

  Do you have to put it that way?

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  (516): That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him. (1-516): yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him. (516): Do you have to put it that way? http://tfl.nu/hbgy
  Replies (21) Good night (6367) Bad night (1091)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday

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  (320): Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday http://tfl.nu/a582
  Replies (2) Good night (2712) Bad night (865)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.

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  (214): well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1ijf
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (1351)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

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  (901): We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults. http://tfl.nu/zv4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (722)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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  (252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1
  Replies (10) Good night (504) Bad night (1224)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (392) Bad night (824)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA

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  (563): It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA http://tfl.nu/yp2m
  Replies (6) Good night (339) Bad night (655)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore

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  (267): If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore http://tfl.nu/3cnq
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (353)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.

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  (616): Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning. http://tfl.nu/kfpq
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (360)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support

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  (303): I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support http://tfl.nu/wag8
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (321)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night

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  (610): If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night http://tfl.nu/0f7q
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (259)

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