this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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