Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

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  (954): You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom? http://tfl.nu/6goc
  Replies (35) Good night (1000) Bad night (15100)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.

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  (203): walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers. http://tfl.nu/bvxk
  Replies (21) Good night (4329) Bad night (518)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  WISH UPON A TAMPON

  (718): View more from New York

  They constantly get farther than me.

  (718): View more from New York

  tampons.

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  (917): WISH UPON A TAMPON (718): They constantly get farther than me. (718): tampons. http://tfl.nu/tcn2
  Replies (45) Good night (665) Bad night (3627)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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  (609): I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied http://tfl.nu/rkdz
  Replies (18) Good night (1009) Bad night (4125)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

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  (252): Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/r53x
  Replies (5) Good night (3662) Bad night (943)
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  (510): View more from California

  just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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  (510): just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i? http://tfl.nu/gdnc
  Replies (7) Good night (3684) Bad night (960)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe

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  (832): When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe http://tfl.nu/uvdo
  Replies (16) Good night (648) Bad night (3106)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (1086)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

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  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (31) Good night (2915) Bad night (568)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

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  (609): The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes http://tfl.nu/oauk
  Replies (3) Good night (894) Bad night (479)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.

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  (423): Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/tqj8
  Replies (2) Good night (1313) Bad night (329)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us

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  (912): We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us http://tfl.nu/f6nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (317)
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  (415): View more from California

  I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

  (1-415): View more from California

  I don't deserve you.

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  (415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri
  Replies (6) Good night (2149) Bad night (307)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

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  (+61): I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/lq2i
  Replies (1) Good night (205) Bad night (388)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.

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  (520): I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick. http://tfl.nu/pc6z
  Replies (0) Good night (239) Bad night (431)

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