I saw his package. It spoke to me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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