I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So much rum. So many feels.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
