I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
