Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
