so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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