I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
