Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
