If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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