and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
