he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
