i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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