i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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