I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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