i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
